Hot
Grumbling, breath frosting the inside of the visor with moisture that he can’t wipe away. Thinks for a moment of spitting, anything to get a clear view, but that would be even worse. The ear-piece is too tight. Pushed in so that it wouldn’t fall out, now feels like it’s trying to burrow into his head and he has no way of reaching in and removing it. Through the static and noise, he can hear children crying, probably Michael. Snot prone toddler, bawling in a doorway near the communications room. Always crying, even here above ground in the blasted landscape he can’t get away from it. “How the hell did we get ourselves in this situation, eh, Jer. Eh?” A calm voice clicks in, hear the scrape of bristles against the microphone and he imagines Jer leaning in a little too close and then has to sit back. “We stole a school bus, I broke my leg. We also decided to live in an underground shelter waiting for the fallout to subside, and it suddenly developed air flow problems.. That’s how we got here. More precisely, how you got out there.” Fuck. “Yeah, yeah everyone’s a comedian.” “Isn’t that what you were asking?” “More like why me?” It was rhetorical. He didn’t need to hear the answer, he got it anyway. “You’re outside because it would take me four times as long to open the door. In that time, I’d get a lethal dose of radiation. We also couldn’t send any of the other occupants, as they’re minors, and down to an individual, I wouldn’t even trust them to wipe their own arses, let alone identify and resolve a critical air flow problem.” “How scientific is that Jer? What’s a quarter of a lethal dose of radiation? If it wasn’t harmful, then it wouldn’t be an issue would it. You wouldn't mention it.” “It’s not an immediate concern.” “What about cancer? What if I get cancer?” “I hate to break it to you, but we’re all going to get cancer. You me, every last one of us, but it's a matter of when.” Until yesterday, Jer had been making a big thing of the radiation sensitive badges, checking them, but as soon as they started to turn black, he collected them and put them in a box. He wanted to say, hiding them doesn’t take the radiation away. It was a matter of sacrificing long term survival for short term viability. When would the physical symptoms start to show? “I can feel it Jer, I can feelit prickling my skin.” “It's just your imagination. You can’t feel radiation. It’s most likely your pores opening with sweat. Must be hot in that suit. You’ve got to get it done. Besides, we couldn’t send a kid because they’re more susceptible to radiation. Christ, you know how hard it is to get them to do anything. You can't get them to hold their breath in a classroom, let alone outside.”
"Am I supposed to be holding my breath Jer, you didn't mention that."
"No, no, it was just an example."
He knew all the reasons. It was just one of those things. Alarmingly, his own conscience had started to talk with Jer’s twang of an accent. He was out there because there was no one else. He fell silent. “You sulking?” More silence. “Are you?” “No.” “Seems like it.” “Look, I know it had to be me, but it wasn’t my fault.” “This isn’t a punishment, I’m not punishing you, but we have to clear that vent.” “Okay.” “Jer?” “What?” I’m sorry that I told the kids that their parents were dead.” “Yeah. Me too.”
He froze in his tracks. Next to the air filter was a square of canvas. Someone had written “Fresh meat inside.” Fuck. “You know you said we were going to have to leave. I think we might have to start packing.” “What the hell are you talking about?” Jer asked. “There’s someone else out here. They left a message and I don’t think that they’re referring to your cooking.”
